elettrona-gifter-nicknames-introduction
Elettrona and Gifter: where our nicknames come from
The introduction where we explain our blog’s purpose in detail is on our “About Us” page. Instead, here we simply talk about the reason for our nicknames – Elettrona and Gifter.
Posted in:
#fediblog,
#introduction,
#personal
Real names or nicknames?
We met online and neither of us guessed a friendship could develop, given how much we fought from March to June 2019; in fact, truth be told, knowing each other better we found out that we had been chatting back in 2003 without ever sharing information about each other’s lives. We were just “Talksina” and “AlexPianoPlay” who argued fiercely on computer-related topics exchanging swear words but accurately avoiding any discussion or attack on private matters. Two moving little windows anonymously talking to each other about nothing, for months.
During early 2000s there was little awareness about digital bullying, so experiencing Internet as a gay man and a woman with disability forced us to build a huge shield of distrust around ourselves; we argued but sought each other out in chat rooms every night, even though we knew how the discussion would end.
Looking back we assume that even though unaware of each other we had instinctively understood that we were experiencing the same virtual humiliation from strangers and that arguing about technologies was like a punching bag in which to vent.
“Coming out” about the past was not easy after years of friendship born with our real names and under very different circumstances since 2003, but it ended with, “See what life is like? It was easier for you to tell me about your HIV than to let me know that you were AlexPianoPlay the Windows fanatic who talked about free software like it was cancer”. Final laughter and inevitable flashbacks of the swear words behind which, perhaps, an unconscious mutual esteem was hiding even then.
Introducing ourselves as PlusBrothers?
In 2019 when we decided to run the blog together, we agreed that “Elena and Alessandro” were too “normal” to make it a stage name: what appeal would the name “Farrokh Bulsara” have? Much better Freddie Mercury!
Before choosing current nicknames we tried shortening our real names in “Eli” and “Alex”, considering the idea of hiding our real genders.
Who is the man, who is the woman? “Eli” can shorten Elena, Eleonora, Elisa, Eliana, but also male names Elijah and Elias. On the other hand, Alex can stand both for Alexander and Alexandra.
Although they were neutral, “Eli and Alex” sounded too trivial so we changed our mind again: who cares if we’re identified by gender, whenever someone judges us as a couple we’ll behave accordingly.
From stupidity to irony
In the midst of the discussion about nicknames to use for ourselves, we also tried, “let’s call each other by sign!” And we burst out laughing, “you’re a girl, and calling you TAURUS feels like taking the piss.” “You have HIV, and calling you CANCER is inappropriate.”
Misunderstanding: “sign” means “HIV status” instead. Positive and negative? No, it does too much stigma and it’s the worst result. Plus and minus looked like considering ourselves as machines. Electron and proton! That’s it! And we used them for a while but something still didn’t sound all right.
Elettrona
We studied a way to create a feminine version of “Electron” name but nothing fit good: “lion” is “lioness”, “electron” is “electroness” it was really bad. Italian sounded awful, English even worse.
Best choice ended up as “Elettrona” as it turns out to be a hybrid between the word “electron” and her real first name “Elena”.
Gifter
The nickname in question comes from a mainly gay subculture mentioned during late 1990s and early 2000s, caused by anti-AIDS campaigns based on fear rather than awareness: the anxiety of testing, stigma, homophobia and in some cases loneliness, prompted some people to believe themselves more sexually free by making dangerous choices: “if society thinks we are destined for AIDS, we decide on our own how, where, when, who.”
So a chaser -bug chaser- would be someone living without HIV, but wanting to get it through condomless sex.
Gifter or “gift giver” is the one who lives with HIV and passes it on to chaser. Valentino Talluto and other people arrested for deliberate HIV transmission would not be included in this definition though, as people were not consenting or even aware about the virus; let’s call those folks with their name: sex abusers.
While Talluto is an extreme case, we read a lot about these “bug chasers” online but they are a good 95% fictional, and discussing them on media as if it were an emergency only diverts attention from the real pressing problem: countries who can’t afford anti-viral therapies, and the widespread stigma that makes prevention campaigns less effective.
So the nickname “Gifter” is self-mocking: Alex cannot transmit HIV because he follows treatment regularly, and being called that both online and in real life, is the tone-deaf response for those who still associate the term “HIV” with intentional infections, without being even a little ashamed.
