Post by @autoperipatetikos@neurodifferent.me

2026-09-17 11:31 UTC

@AnAutieAtUni@beige.party @autistics@fedigroups.social I have a hard time with this. There are certain friends I know are kind and don't mind the things I'm self conscious about. But it's all so unknown. There are a few family members I can't quite fathom out. I've witnessed one of them being rather unkind about an aunt's house (but not to her face) and I feel like she needs to make herself feel good by criticizing others. I would never say to my husband that he couldn't welcome his family or friends here, so I have to just cope the best I can. I think the worst thing for me is when we need work done and they have go in all the areas that guests don't see that I'm really ashamed of.

Replies (1)

@AnAutieAtUni@beige.party 2026-09-17 12:04

@autoperipatetikos@neurodifferent.me @autistics@fedigroups.social I know what you mean. Not knowing whether people will be kind is a big source of uncertainty that I don’t like! Makes me want to tidy or clean more, even when things are already tidy and clean. I don’t even know what issues I’m concerned about or what to aim for. I often wonder if they’ll sense a strange smell that my brain has got used to or maybe see some mess that my ADHD brain has filtered out. I want people to feel comfortable too. But then I wonder how I can help them feel that when I almost always feel awkward in other people’s homes no matter what, and I find it hard to relax at home when I have visitors over too and I expect they sense that. It’s strange that I feel less worried about work people. I think I simply care more about friends / family connections and know work people come and go. But I definitely don’t like people going in rooms I didn’t expect them to, no matter what state the room is in.

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