#wizardsofthelostkingdom1985

And there we have it, a film entirely produced based on the Cliff notes of Joseph Campbell’s “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” crossed with a random grab-bag of D&D encounters. Somebody mentioned that there’s a sequel. We will inevitably vote for it in hopes that it includes a scene from Kor’s cyclops honeymoon. #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Good god, it's over? God, oh god, it's over. Thank god, it's over! #monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

And that's another monsterdon in the can, a special one, made with the helmet of bin head, where it belongs. This was bad, at everything it attempted, and unredeemably so. I'm just so glad this was forced upon us and we didn't vote for it or something. Puts finger to ear: Wait, I'm now hearing that... Oh god, oh god no. Thank you all for sharing your pain, and thank you @Taweret@timeloop.cafe for hosting. 'Til next time! #monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

I will applaud that movie for not a lot of walking montages. #monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

WotLK: Amazing but incoherent set-pieces in an ocean of crap walking scenes, no plot, 60 minutes stretched into too long, no fight choreography. ★½☆☆☆ but like watch it anyway. I cannot believe Héctor Olivera directed both this junk & Barbarian Queen (1985): One of the greatest sword & sorcery revenge (heavy on the rape) flicks ever, Lana Clarkson just kicking ass & other body parts for 90 minutes. Basically no special effects except Lana. ★★★★½ #monsterdon #wizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

The important thing is the movie footage we ripped off along the way. Thanks @miru @ryan@mstdn.social @Taweret@timeloop.cafe#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Say what you will about this movie but…. Ok, actually I have nothing. I am reasonably certain that Simon will not be a good king, and Kor will have to come back and take him out. Still, it was a fun ride! Thank you, @Taweret@timeloop.cafe, for hosting as always. Have a great week everyone! #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Wait. So at the end Kor just fucks off into Magicland? I can only assume he’s headed back to catch another round of cyclops nookie. #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

And Simon married well and became the ruler of the kingdom of Asshole and everyone lived happily ever after. Whew, this was one of those "technically a movie" weeks, huh? The one good thing I can say for it is everyone really seemed to be having fun. Except maybe the person in the carpet suit. Goodnight everybody! Give a nod of thanks to @Taweret@timeloop.cafe for hosting and see y'all next week! #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

#monsterdon #wizardsofthelostkingdom1985 I can't tell where anyone fucked off to! @@@@ Great #monsterdon movie.. terrible for anyone who wants anything resembling coherence. acting plot dialog Thanks, @Taweret@timeloop.cafe and all #monsterdonians!!

Least dramatic (or coherent) magical duel ever. #monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Kor, have you ever heart of "avoidant attachment"? #monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Kor’s captain obvious truisms #monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

#monsterdon #wizardsofthelostkingdom1985 The dialog in this movie... WOW

Awkward!! #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985 #Monsterdon

Wizard battles are always so suspenseful #monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

At least they seem to actually be shooting at night? #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Or possibly just in a sound stage with heavy black curtains for the sky. Still, not day-for-night! #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Yay, a funeral AND a wedding! Best party ever. Why does "SIEZE HIM!" never work? You got all the guards, and can do magic. OH GOD NO, NOT CHILDREN! THE CHILDREN ARE FIGHTING! Well the trained adult guards are doomed now. Yep, all over but deprogramming the princess. Why are the regular guards all in blue pajamas? Did Skurka just vaporize the queen & dwarf with no fanfare? No gloating? That sucks. And now, live-action Warlords videogame! LOL! #monsterdon #wizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Doesn't the kid have the ring of ultimate magical power? What is the point of all of this? #monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985