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  Muff Gideon

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  We all know who we want to be the third

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  Having trouble pulling back the foreskin on the chain I use to lock up my bike

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  My ceiling fan is conspiring to set me up me so I look like a weirdo

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  Hugging Piss

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  Fucksmock nerds doing the new twitter excelling at reading the room, but its the shittiest room you can imagine

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  it's naked pushup o'clock

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  What's on the playlist when it finally happens? "Ding dong the witch is dead" is obv, but "Vengabus" really captures the vibe

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  oh fuck. oh shit. this is only a 2-day weekend

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  'bated breath

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  pot + movie night! What's on?

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  Reese's pisses

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  why be normal about things when you could be weird about things

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  If you hit a trillionaire with a brick enough times, they stop being a trillionaire

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  gooner union

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  Project Hail Mary is like if a really good Soviet movie was remade my Hollywood jerks

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  Sam Altman's head exploding, call that an AI bubble burst

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  face only a mother could fuck

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  face only a mother could kill

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  bike share should be free

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  Wilford Brimley's OnlyBrans

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  I jacked it into your jacket

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  Canceled for eating rhinoceros pussy

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  Really, gonna stop now

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  Get a room, you √2

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  You're telling me this room is just for balls?

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  milkshake duck should be a sex act

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  thank you for your attention to my butthole

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  The us dollar is shidding and farding according to major economists