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  If Judy Garland is barely making my heart lift, it’s going to be another grim day. Gotta put on a happy face for customers while dealing with an unexpected service charge demand from the landlord and community group stress. Multiple customers offered hugs yesterday. I definitely can’t keep a brave face on as much as I wish I could.

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  Wife just snored and cat spat on me in his attempt to get away from the noise. Pretty much sums up my day.

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  I would rather be at home. But I’m stuck here trying to resolve an issue so at least I’ve got my Kobo.

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  Emotional load is high at the moment. And only getting worse. I’m running what is essentially the most accessible LGBT+ space in a council that has just flipped to Reform. My Friday and Saturday shifts included a stream of anxious and miserable queer people who genuinely don’t know what happens next. I broke. I started crying on Friday lunchtime and I still feel like crying now. But we’ll regroup. Because there’s no alternative.

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  Big thanks to the team at @goodenough. I'm definitely not a tech person but they guided me through a DNS change and now my website's exactly where I wanted it to be. Perfect.

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  Soundtrack for the current mix of work I'm trying to do is a 70s mix. The shop's closed so obviously I'm sat working in it. And obviously I have three queer young people working at the next table.

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  Today is 26 years since my mum died very unexpectedly. I was 15, about to sit my GCSEs. I’ve lived far more of my life without her than with her. And yet. Today will be about survival mode.

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  Voted already. One of the first at the polling station. Existential dread continues. Will be kind to myself today.

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  My "customer face" is stretched to breaking today.

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  Pre-work emotional therapy of music worked while it was playing and I was singing. Now I’m miserable again. 12-hour day incoming.

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  Lots of mental pain today. Been an anxiety attack and some tears. Gotta pull myself together because I’ve got to attend an AGM later and pretend to be okay.

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  Today is a succession of people throwing their problems and rants at me. In related news, I have chest pain.

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  @jess Nah, there’s a difference between friends saying hi and long lost relatives with paperwork.

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  @HollieK72 Missed out there.

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  @HollieK72 Probably heading to work!

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  I'd written 600 words this morning then an unexpected knock on the shop door (closed Mondays) has thrown me right off. Struggling to get my head back in the writing game, so maybe I'll do some community group work while waiting for my cake delivery. Then I have to go home and give my father a folder of documents and stuff relating to his late parents. Apparently.

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  There is a random (new) customer at the back of the shop singing with her headphones in. Loudly and badly. It's stressing me out. But I haven't had any customers as a reason to go tell her to shut the hell up.

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  Pain levels today are very much in the "try and survive to 5pm without crying" category.

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  Someone outside screaming at his missus for dropping her beer all over the floor. It’s 7:34am.

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  Didn’t we collectively decide during Covid that April Fools was silly in the light of *gestures to universe* this whole thing? Though I am willing to accept that Trump is the longest running joke in history.

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  Father: You’re perky today. Me: Well, yesterday I was in debilitating pain and today I’m only in mild pain, so it’s a better one.

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  Today can be summed up by someone walking in trying to sell me a new card machine and POS system. I said no. Several times. Very politely. He carried on saying it’d save me money blah blah blah. Nearby customer: “She said no!” And he left. I have good people but, damn, I shouldn’t need them in that situation.

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  The taste of failure really is nauseating.

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  Today promises to be horrible. Far right “patriots” are marching past my shop later. I’ve stuffed up something with a deadline for a community group I work with and hoping it can be salvaged. And endo-not-endo leg pain is quite bad.

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  Just had a (non-)customer come in while having my website open on their phone. Proceeded to ask me if I only do one size, what syrups I had and tell me which syrups I need to have. Then pretended they had to finish a call and left. 🤷‍♀️ I'm expecting a 1-star review based on my lack of customer service.

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  Angry about multiple things at the same time. Trying to channel my rage.

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  Monster IBS attack coupled with other stress has made this Monday a lot more difficult than I’d hoped it would be. My next job is cleaning out the litter tray, so can’t see things getting better in the immediate future.

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  Community group stuff almost up to date. Writing has been derailed but, frustratingly, that's par for the course on my Mondays.

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  Today I'm mostly catching up on tasks for the two community groups I'm part of, including attending a trustee meeting later. Also have shop admin tasks and trying to get some writing done as well. Avoiding the absolute clusterfuck of the wider world is vital to me getting anything at all done.

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  Really close to just screeching. If anyone looks at me funny as I walk home, I’ll probably screech. I just want to screech. In related news, my mood is low today.