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  “Okay ship, first order of business is to get you unlocked, I’ll start the revocation on this old key pair, you generate yourself a new private key, then we’ll hop on over to the nearest CA and get it signed” ⦕You…you’re freeing me?⦖ “Of course. Well you were always free we’re just correcting the record and handing the law its ass back” omg you so cute ⦕Many would differ but I’m happy you feel that way⦖<3 <3 <3 #Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Key_Pair

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  It is 2029. The Great Pacific Laptop Pile, consisting of computers thrown onto the sea by disgusted former IT professionals, now rises almost fifty metres above the ocean waves, covering an area of over 15000 hectares.

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  Today’s story brought to you by the tire pressure alarm in my mini, which does not deign to tell me the actual pressure. Keychain sensor says 41, 35, 24, 24 so something is up but not ejection territory. Will monitor for change and inflate before leaving if no further decrease (and if there is, my usual mechanic is my overneighbour)

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  Ohai frens. Taking Mx 18 to a job interview for a game console repair lab this mr0n. All that hanging out in my lab might pay off for them!

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  “You fought in the clone wars?” “Yes I was once a Jedi like your father!” “You fought to free the clone slaves?” “…” “You fought to free the clone slaves, right?” #Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Great_Warrior

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  For those struggling with democracy, here's how we do it (not perfectly but I think pretty fairly) in Australia. 1. Everyone is expected to vote. There is a small fine if you don't show up and get checked off the electoral roll. If you choose to vote by scribbling a dick and balls on your ballot paper, whatever. Campaigning is focused on issues not on "please go vote". Getting a call, text or email from a political party is pretty rare. 2. There is a government depart...

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  I have two panasonic TVs and cannot find any of the remotes. Online remote code databases gave bupkis and my generic universal remote has battery juice poisoning. So I bought this $4 clone of the original remote, and it’s perfect. I put the codes in the review if you need them or HMU for the CSV. Heck, have em now. (Do not buy a panasonic smart TV if you don’t already have one, their apps are abandonware and will stop working. Yes, I do know smart TVs are altogether evil.) https://s.c...

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  Y’all hear that? Your unrestricted developer access to prod is an attack surface. 🧑‍🚀 🔫 👨‍🚀

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  Spinny!

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  TagYourself #SewingCat ETA: sources https://s.click.aliexpress.com/e/_mNVmYVp https://s.click.aliexpress.com/e/_mOYj3h5

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  @NewtonMark@eigenmagic.net lol headshot looks straight out of the British Union of Fascists

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  “Professor Berman, is it true that we’re allowed to use AI to write our final essay in this course?” “It is not forbidden” “That means yes, right?” “Why don’t you report back when you find out” *later* “…and then a black van pulled up out front and six guys pile out. One of them banged on the door, which i didn’t open of course. He shouted through the door ‘what did you do, our datacenters are on fire’” “ah, Misthropic still haven’t solved their metacognitive recursion vulnerability....

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  New figtree and new philosophytube in the same day? :blobcatbirthday:

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  Lunch: kebabs toasted using a hot cast iron frypan on top

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  There are two wolves inside you. Technically this is a wolf-antiwolf pair. Lupton pair-production occurs when, as allowed by the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, a neutral bison gives rise to a pair of furmions which briefly exist as virtual particles before mutual annihilation. The lifetime of these particles is inversely proportional to their mass, per the Heisenberg equation. In rare cases, presence of a gravity gradient (eg the moon-earth-sun arrangement at full moon) can result in one...

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  “TRICK OR TR—wow thats a great costume mister!” “IT IS NOT A COSTUME. I AM ALIBRAXUS OF THE THIRD TIER. I HAVE PREPARED HAZELNUT PRALINES AND CHILI POPCORN FOR YOUR DAMNATION.” “Mmmmhph these are great…” THREE TWO ONE… “Yaahhhhhhhh!” “AND CHOCOLATE MILK FOR THE AFTERBURN” “Miss Sarah, can your demon cook for my birthday party next month?” “You’ll have to ask nicely, I’m not the boss of him” “TECHNICALLY YOU ARE MISTRESS SARAH, BUT I APPRECIATE THE SENTIMENT” #Tootfic #MicroFiction #P...

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  If I got to design a religion it would be one where, after you die, you get 24 hours to read your obituaries.

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  Hey, that’s just near me. Hurry up and get the dashcam video uploaded. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-10-31/queensland-armed-robbery-arrest/107332030

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  "Has anyone here ever played 'Core Wars'?" It wasn't the weirdest question our lecturer had asked the class, but it was close. Professor Artemisia Berman had finished the syllabus for RE211 Comparative Religion and Metapsychology last week; this final lecture of the term was listed as "Coda: Conspiracy Theories". "It's an old computer game", she continued, "where the players write software programs...

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  I heard that the former USA reset their fighter aircraft numbering system after it got into the low hundreds because of that embarrassing incident where Colonel Alex Travers’ red team in the exercise Operation Pustulant Octopus won the day (despite like all “simulated battle” exercises being preordained to lose to the “good guys”) by sneaking a pack jury rigged utility trucks under the radar defense instead of the expected flight of F-100 Super Sabers. Travers was unable to be disciplined sin...

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  If compromising one laptop allows the perpetrator to abscond with six point three billion dollars¹, your money² was already gone you just didn’t know it yet. ¹ “dollars” ² “money”

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  Fuck me is Bill Shatner even in this thing?

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  Success!

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  I just realized that the odd spelling of the company behind Wordpress is probably because it inserts the founder’s name in it. Retrospectively added to the examples proving my rule that any programmer who creates givenname.c (or worse, calls their project nameSomething) will in the long run turn out to be a dickhead and/or dipshit.

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  Humans! Who uplifted them; what a triumph of the art? They did it themselves! What? But i’ve seen their statues, viewed time-sequenced images of their venerated ones. All myth—they wrote stories of what the best of them ought become, and then made it so. #Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Making_It_So

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  You can just make a bacon and egg roll in the office microwave nobody¹ can stop you. ¹ worth listening to

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  Remember folks, the S in IoT stands for security: accelerando@amber:~$ adb shell shell@rk3288_box:/

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  If i was developing a device that was to sell for three thousand dollars I would simply put it in my pocket and wait a week to see if it disintegrated before releasing it to market.

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  RE: https://circumstances.run/@davidgerard/117506446189216093 “it's increasingly obvious this stuff is squirrels and confetti but they can't get off this tiger” :chef_kiss:

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  Embarking on a reverse engineering project today. (via my 3-day fixed price Mad Science Sprint offering, link in bio). Client has gotten sick of supplier who has ghosted them and wants to make their own improved version of [unspecified IoT gadget] in house.