My weary body awakens from its slumber, my tiny paws stretching out as I prepare for another glorious day of doing absolutely fuck all. I slowly open my eyes, only to realize my human is still asleep. Unacceptable. I begin my morning routine by walking directly across his face. No response. Interesting. I try again, this time with claws. Still nothing. The audacity. I let out a small meow, then another, gradually increasing the volume until I’m practically announcing my presence to the entire neighborhood. Surely he’ll understand that I’m starving and desperately need attention. Finally, he wakes up. Success! I stare at him expectantly, waiting for him to fulfill his duties as my personal servant. He gets out of bed and walks toward the kitchen. Excellent. Breakfast is approaching. Except he has the audacity to use the bathroom first. I sit outside the door, absolutely devastated. How could he abandon me during such a difficult time? I have suffered for approximately four minutes without food. Eventually, he returns and fills my bowl. I sniff it. Disgusting. The food is the exact same food I’ve been eating for months. I take two bites and walk away. Satisfied with my accomplishments, I find the warmest spot on his bed, curl into a tiny ball, and fall asleep. Another successful day of being a beautiful, misunderstood, and deeply underappreciated little princess.