@charette@mstdn.ca (deliberately removing OP tag) i've had plenty of friends over the years who were quite comfortable admitting to me theft, adultery, incredibly racist/sexist/etc. takes, suicidal ideation, etc. etc. etc. rape - or "pushing a bit harder to convince her" or "getting her drunk enough" or "she didn't say no" or any other little rationalizations or deferrals of responsibility - is just another thing that some people do folks will tell you things if they figure you won't rat on them or cut them out/down/off they'll also tell you things to try to normalize it for themselves and you as a group bonding sort of thing if you present as male without saying anything else and similar male-presenting/assumed persons are the only people in the room/within earshot along with that sort of guy, he'll try to test everyone's boundaries about this shit but the way he's going to tell the story, you're going to have to read between the lines a bit to learn to notice how he's going to describe an overridden or non-communication of consent we're not talking about hardened tattooed scarred one-eyed bubba from the pen, these are very normal frat boy/rich kid types who almost certainly won't have a criminal record. could be assholish but will also be very good at hiding it from people they don't want to victimize (sexually or economically or otherwise) (anyway more people should hang out more with folks in (or recently out of) prison, it might be one of the best ways to help prevent recidivism)