I can speak on donating, but Ihave some thoughtson this to reply “don’t worry, I’ll be fine” and placate her To me that reply sounds more dismissive than reassuring, and it would not placate any worry wart in my life. I would focus my reply on the concerns raised. It wouldn’t have to be a long message since it seems she mostly wants to speak her mind and not necessarily have a conversation or anything productive come if it more than expressing herself. I personally would reply something like: “I understand it’s scary for you to think about this surgery. Children should never outlive their parents, which means you have to deal with that losing me at some point, but it won’t be for many years yet. 'What if’s are indeed scary, but I have made my decision. If any ‘what if’ arrives we can deal with it then, instead of worrying already about ten of them that may never happen. I wonder why you feel resentment and anger towards Kevin and not towards me, when I am the one making this decision and creating this worry in you. Are you perhaps redirecting your feelings from me towards a safer outside party? Something to consider in your next therapy session perhaps. I hope you know ots safe to be angry with me, even when youre scared of losing me. I love you, and I would not do this procedure if it was unimportant or if I thought it would risk shortening the time we have together.” But that’s how I would feel. I would also quietly get my affairs in order, even though I really don’t think it’s a risky procedure. Prepared, not paranoid. And it never hurts to have ordered affairs - you might be hit by a car on the way to surgery.