(This is prolly gonna be a rambling mess) What is there to say that I haven’t already said in therapy? Let’s start with polyamory. Embracing multiple relationships has taught me so much about communication, exploring perspectives in disagreements, and about how to set boundaries. I didn’t learn any of that in your household. Asexuality. My asexuality taught me about differentiation, about how to understand when my needs were different from other people’s, and how to hold on to that knowledge when confronted with others expectation that I would center their needs at my own expense. That lesson *hurt.* That one probably hurt the *most.* I had to dig myself - buried alive - out of a shallow grave, and the headstone was your mother’s. (The spade cast aside on the surface was my father’s, but that’s a story for another time.) Imagine, if you will, that I’ve pulled up my top enough to point to horrifying scars on my body as I list these off. Femininity. That one I learned on my own. Your pantsuits and conformity had nothing for me. You were off fawning to your boss, hoping she would stop hurting you. For *years.* I don’t know that I’m ready to show you that scar. Autonomy. Autonomy taught me to parent, finally. I know how to shade and highlight with pastel chalk, rosin a bow for a concert string instrument, kick four different ways, coax a sound from a flute, and pack for an overnight outdoors at 13,000 feet. Fuck you for each and every one of those.