There's some weird energy in the air this morning. I don't really know what's going on out there in the world, but the energy is Big. I feel swirling emotions, akin to the deepest of pubescent floods, mixed with questions that have impossible answers. I woke and spent the last hour weeping. Which is something I long to do, but have so rarely experienced in many years. I spent time contemplating 2 disappointments that feel fresh and deep. I mourned for myself for both, but by the time I got to why either would make me this incredibly sad, I have found potential resolution that brings me joy in the future, and a Knowing that these disappointments were not the source of the extreme sadness I felt. I observed myself, and began to detach from those events, while allowing my feelings to continue to swirl. I began to zoom away from my body as the source of the emotions. Not into a timeline view, but a different dimension. It was easy to slip into the place where I know everything is safe and exactly as it is meant to be. Now that I Know that The Universe is taking care of me, these disappointments are always just challenges on the way to something better. When I slipped into that place of safety, I felt one foot inside this 3D experience, and another foot in eternity. I Remembered that I am sensitive to energy from outside of this body, and began to deliberately open to those energies, to get a taste of what they were. I am so new to energy work as a concept. I have been playing with the basics this year, been guided by so many around me. This energy tonight is bigger than what I've encountered, since my awakening to these forces. Bigger isn't the right word, louder? Yes, bigger and louder. It feels almost like familiar experiences - attending the 2008 DNC in Denver, for example. That was some MASSIVE energy that swirled around me, before I knew about these things. It's that, mixed with debate club nationals for my son, and a whole lot of emergency energy. It's like a soundwave that I cannot hear with physical ears, but my heart feels the vibrations of. It is chaotic and there is fear. I feel so much fear out there. And joy. Fear smells so repugnant, but my body wants to bring the joy closer. They are inseparable, though. I can only observe from here anyway. I am an Observer, not a manipulator, of these energies, and from this dimension. I close my senses, the energy becomes distant again. A faint rumble, far away. My awareness comes back to my physical form. I am no longer channeling external energy within myself, no longer adding those feelings to my own. That extreme sadness no longer feels relevant to my experience. I no longer allow that neural pathway to be traversed by thoughts, it would be a waste of energy. I lay down again, confident that sleep will come easily, soon. Curious why The Universe, or Spirit, is prompting me to write these things. I suppose maybe these middle of the night thoughts may feel relevant for some reason, later on. But man, whatever is going on, it sure does feel Big. Ok, time for meditation and round 2 of sleep.